Sydney Pollack's Death Much More Popular Than Harvey Korman's

The Shadow was deeply saddened this morning to learn of the passing of comic Harvey Korman. Korman, famous for his work on The Carol Burnett Show, as well as for his classic portrayal of Hedley Lamarr in the film Blazing Saddles, died today at age 81, from complications of an aneurysm.

But players of Deathwatch 2008 were much more concerned with the death earlier in the week of director Sydney Pollack. Pollack, the occasional actor and director of such films as They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, The Electric Horseman and Tootsie, died this week at the age of 73 from cancer.

Five--count 'em--five DW2K8ers snagged a tidy 27 points from Pollack's death, while only Kerberos anticipated the passing of Mr. Korman. Which begs the question: Why the hell were you guys so certain Pollack was about to kick it?

Not a particularly funny post, so I'll close with a joke: Why did the chicken cross the road? Apparently to attend Sydney Pollack's funeral and leave Harvey Korman's corpse to molder on the sidewalk.

You Can Go Ahead and Take Away His Gun Now

Film legend Charlton Heston died today at the age of 84.

There is a great deal of confusion as to the manner of his death. According to an A.P. report, the actor was beaten to death by a group of super-intelligent apes who had caught him in a net. Another, conflicting report, from the BBC, says that he was thrown from a chariot and died from internal injuries. The New York Times has written that Mr. Heston was smothered to death by overweight documentary film-maker Michael Moore.

All news agencies have reported the same interesting request in Heston's will, which is that he wanted to be ground up and turned into a hyper-nutritional food to end world hunger.

Deathwatchers seem to have been eagerly anticipating Heston's death, as Morrigan, Wednesday, the Grim Reaper, Kerberos, Miss of Death, Rock-n-Roll Suicide and The Oracle all snagged a tidy 16 points, leaving the rest of us tied for last.

Death Round-Up (Death-Up?)

Playing a little catch-up here.

Former Senator-from-Ohio Howard Metzenbaum died on March 12 at age 90. Senator Metzenbaum was a fantastic Democratic senator in the old-school vein; y'know, back when the legislature actually tried to get shit done. The Shadow was terribly saddened to hear of the senator's passing, mostly when it was learned the the senator was not on The Shadow's death list as The Shadow had previously thought. Nobody on DW2K8 scored those sweet, sweet 10 points.


Massive geeks suffered another serious blow this week as author Arthur C. Clarke was beaten to death by a bunch of bone-wielding apes. After the earlier death of Gary Gygax, the geek world is in a state of high dudgeon, wondering who the next geek icon to fall might be. Again, no Deathwatch players anticipated Mr. Clarke's death, and so his 10 points also go unclaimed.


Acclaimed British actor Paul Scofield died this week. Mr. Scofield, whose credits include A Man for All Seasons, King Lear, Henry V and Quiz Show, was seen most recently in Rebecca Miller's film adaptation of The Crucible. He was wrinkly and British and he will be missed. Just not by any Death-Watchers, 'cause we all once again missed the boat and left his 14 points unclaimed.

Another newly-minted moldering British corpse is that of acclaimed director Anthony Minghella. Mr. Minghella, helmer of such prestigious pieces of picture-show puffery as The Talented Mr. Ripley appears to have been trying to recapture the glory of his Oscar-nominated directorial breakthrough by becoming an English Patient. His death, presumably, will not have the same box-office success. Nor will it feature Ralph Fiennes. Death Watch players have got to be incredibly saddened that we all missed the 46 points that Mr. Minghella would have brought.

Oh, and the drummer from ABBA kick-drummed the bucket, too. His name was probably Sven Hufferdenpuffer or something along those lines. He was, reportedly, the inspiration for the song "Dancing Queen." Yet again, no points for this guy. Man, we suck.

Gygax Fails Saving Throw Versus Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm

Nerds, geeks, and spazzes worldwide are in mourning over the loss of Dungeons and Dragons co-creator Gary Gygax. For decades, Gygax has stood as a legend to legions of awkward adolescents who needed to escape their mundane, girl-free lives through role playing.*

At a local gaming hangout, young up-and-coming healers were killing rats and small undead creatures in a desperate attempt to level up. "If I can just get 175 more XP," 6th-level human cleric Ashram Ket said adamantly, "I can learn the 'Ressurrect' spell and bring him back!"

From a nearby table, 28th-level elven druid Nipa Honeyhut looked back at Ket over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Stupid kid...doesn't he realize you can't force a rez on someone who doesn't want to be rezzed? Sometimes the soul is quite happy where it is. Let the dude rest in peace."

A moment of silence drifted across the gaming center, and for a while, the only sounds to be heard were the scratching of pencils, the munching of pizza, and the tumbling of twenty-siders on the tabletops.

Nobody from DW2K8 rolled a 20 and hit Gygax's 31 points.
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*I was a Level 7 Half-Elf Thief before I became the Grim Reaper...

Buckley Killed By Stick Up His Ass

Conservative author William F. Buckley died today. Over the course of his 82 years, Mr. Buckley founded the right-wing magazine National Review, hosted the television conversation show Firing Line and spent much of his spare time smacking small children for kicks.

Buckley's doctors told the Associated Press this morning that Buckley was killed when a large chunk of wood from the stick he'd had shoved up his ass for the past sixty years finally broke free and lodged itself in his brain.

Years after his real cultural relevancy had faded, Americans still had reason to loathe Buckley, in that he gave Robin Williams a handy impression to do whenever Williams wanted to portray an uptight conservative.

Mr. Buckley will be missed by the same kind of people who wept openly after learning of Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's diagnosis.

No DW2K8 players chose Mister Buckley, which does not necessarily mean that any of them wanted him to stick around the planet.

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Coffin!

Roy Schieder, the actor who played SeaQuest DSV captain shark-bait police chief Martin Brody in the Jaws series died last night at age 75.

None of the DeathWatchers 2K8 took a great-white-sized bite of Scheider's 25 points.

Farewell, old "chum."

Game On!

We have twenty lists in play for 2008!
Gone are players Suicide by Douche, R.I.P., He Gone!, and 2006 Champion Roger Mortis. Ted Kennedy's Driving Instructor has stayed in, but changed his moniker to the much more topical, "Heath Ledger's Pharmacist." Salmon Mousse has changed his name to "Serpent at the Gates of Wisdom."

A warm welcome to new players Morrigan, Dirt Nap, and Die Die My Darling!

All lists have been approved and are in full effect! Good luck in 2008!