Conservative author William F. Buckley died today. Over the course of his 82 years, Mr. Buckley founded the right-wing magazine National Review, hosted the television conversation show Firing Line and spent much of his spare time smacking small children for kicks.
Buckley's doctors told the Associated Press this morning that Buckley was killed when a large chunk of wood from the stick he'd had shoved up his ass for the past sixty years finally broke free and lodged itself in his brain.
Years after his real cultural relevancy had faded, Americans still had reason to loathe Buckley, in that he gave Robin Williams a handy impression to do whenever Williams wanted to portray an uptight conservative.
Mr. Buckley will be missed by the same kind of people who wept openly after learning of Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's diagnosis.
No DW2K8 players chose Mister Buckley, which does not necessarily mean that any of them wanted him to stick around the planet.
